“How can I be more positive?”
As a life coach, this is probably one of the questions that I get asked the most. If this topic interests you then you need to know that:
We all think negatively sometimes. The quality of our life however, comes down to how long we choose to stay in either a positive or negative mind-set. (And yes, it is a choice).
For those that know me, you may be aware that as a family we have experienced much adversity, and continue to experience challenges. One of our biggest challenges has been my husband’s rare genetic medical condition, Pseudoxanthoma Elasticum, also known as PXE. His condition causes calcification of the soft tissues within the body and is slowly taking away his sight. Life is constantly ever-changing and challenging as a result, yet we don’t let it define us, or our lives.
A few nights ago, I suggested that we turn off the TV and ask each other random, fun questions. (After the initial and expected eye roll, my husband reluctantly gave in knowing that it was easier to give in than try and watch TV with a restless wife!).
One question that I asked him, was “What do you believe about personal challenge?” Not usually being an obvious deep thinker, or deep conversationalist he paused for thought.
Then spoke these words, “I believe that challenges allow us to find opportunities that we never knew existed”. Then, “Wow”, amazed at his own response. (Feeling the power of his words, I made a mental note to share with you all).
His words are a prime example of my first tip, the ‘art of re-framing’, a technique used to develop positive thinking.
When you find yourself thinking negatively as a result of a situation, ask yourself, “What is the best thing about this happening to me?” Look for the silver lining. It’s always there. This takes practice, but the more that you practice, the easier it gets.
(I’ve personally used this time and time again, through many adversities and it’s helped me not only survive but thrive through it all.)
My second tip is to understand that you are contagious. If you think negatively, you will negatively impact others. You can choose to lift or lower people with your presence. Sometimes we find ourselves being negative, as we may feel envious of the happiness of others, so unconsciously try to bring others down, instead of overcoming our fears and challenges and rising ourselves. If you find yourself putting others down, or criticising their dreams or positivity, then be brave and explore the root of this behaviour. It may well be that you are dissatisfied with your life or happiness. Be courageous and explore ways to improve your life.
My third tip is to ask yourself, “What will happen if I continue to think negatively?”. Thinking negatively restricts opportunities. If you don’t believe good things are going to happen, then you will never look for or notice them. You are less likely to experience joy as a result of opportunity. You won’t take chances because you may believe that it just won’t work out. There is a perfect chance that you will get to the end of your life with regret. As human beings we are driven to move away from pain and towards pleasure; the above question can often empower us to take action and change the way that we think.
As a family, we are walking, talking proof that what I am sharing with you works. As my husbands sight continues to deteriorate and we make changes to adapt, we stand strong. Whatever the future holds, we will always be happy because we will always be looking for opportunities with adversity. And exploring what we find with joy and love. Always.
(If you want an immersive positive thinking week, why not join me in North Sweden for Fire & Ice, Unleash Your Potential Through Adventure, 16th -23 March, 2025).
