Many years ago, the title of this blog would have filled with me dread. I did everything I could to be liked and you too, may have done the same. We all go through the teenage trying to fit in. We mirror the language, behaviour and styles of others to be like others so that they like us. We squash ourselves to fit what we think others think we should be. Being liked may be a high priority during this time which may result in bad decisions or behaviours. We think less about the consequences and more about being popular and liked.
My words may sound familiar and a memory of the past. If however, they still sound familiar in the present then read on. This insight may change your life.
Prioritising being liked, above all else, causes pain. It can really, really hurt.
We lose our voice and suppress our opinions. Through fear of not belonging, we agree with others ignoring our own desires to be heard.
We may say or do things that are not in alignment with our core values. You will know when you are saying or doing these things, because of the way that you feel.
We may find ourselves living a life that we don’t really want but are afraid to change. My question to you is this,
“Would you rather get to the end of your life feeling as if you had lived or existed?”
To truly live, we should focus on being authentic rather than being liked. No one wants to be disliked and our aim should not be to focus on being disliked, but on being real and true to ourselves.
Living authentically, we say what we feel.
Living authentically we live our lives in alignment with our core values. We say what we mean and speak how we feel. What people see on the outside is an immediate reflection of the truth we hold ‘on the inside’.
Experiencing the joy of living authentically we truly live, rather than exist and do what we want to do, rather than do what we think others want us to do.
The pain that we once experienced suppressing our true self becomes a thing of the past and we experience more joy and happiness as a result.
And guess what? We find ourselves being liked as a result. Others know that they can trust us to say speak the truth and relationships are enhanced and sustained as a result!
Having the courage to speak up and live our truth may seem like a challenge. Change, however, is simply a series of small steps that combined lead to empowerment and fulfilment. Follow my small steps below to begin your journey!
Choose to speak not suppress.
When you find yourself feeling fear and suppressing your feelings as a result, choose to step through the fear and speak your truth. Say how you feel. Your insight could help others to see differently. Accept that not everyone is always going to agree, and that’s ok. Make what you feel on the inside, something they see on the outside.
Know that it’s ok to create your own path.
Rather than follow the crowd, choose and take your own path. It doesn’t matter if others don’t agree with your decisions for no one knows you better than yourself. Don’t sacrifice what you really want for the approval of others.
Instead of focusing on being liked, focus on being lifted.
Spend time around people who will lift you and help you rise. Have conversations with others that speak their truth. Notice how you feel being around someone who says how they feel. Read books and listen to podcasts about others that have been unafraid to live authentically. Take notes about what they think, feel and say. If there is someone that inspires you, act ‘as if’ you are them for a day. Speak and make decisions as if you were in their mind. Notice the different results that you get!
For further reading I highly recommend this magnificent bundle of books!
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